A warm orange glow hovered over the state of the kitchen. On the ceramic pale tiles of the counter were some pots and pans that were unwashed, stacked on top of another as each day passed. Thankfully, no bugs were around to scavenge.
Lace curtains waved near the wired balcony door, flowing with the cool summer air that passed into the room. They brought in the smell of oxygen from the green leaves outside, somewhat purifying the food scent.
This is what adulthood felt like. This was what he had wanted.
Stacked on the tiny kitchen table were a pile of letters, labeled “Bill” in any location. All of these were stressful to look at, but Javen knew he had the finances to cover them. The stretches of shifts he took in the office were enough for the month. He had a total of three days without any schedule; no work, no appointments.
And yet…
He sat under a room lamp, sunken in a recliner with the fleece over his body. The TV he had on was playing some sort of program, he wasn’t sure what. The dinner he prepped (microwaved macaroni and cheese with some cut up spam) sat half-eaten on the arm next to him. He had stopped eating a while ago, after he had tuned out the TV mentally.
A silence hung over the apartment.
He had no pictures of family. No pictures of friends. The remnants of a memory could only be found in his framed diploma, hung up on the dry painted wall.
His phone was on the entryway table, buzzing occasionally with the notifications that were coming his way. None of them were messages; mostly emails and reminders about work and some newsletters he had subscribed to for ideas or self-improvement tips. He knew he should be looking through them more often, but he found himself deleting them a lot if they weren’t work-related.
His attention was on nothing at this point. It was just as wavering as an imaginary fly in the room.
Maybe it was time for bed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to announce the 30th anniversary of the Glennary convention. As residents of the city may know, this holiday poses opportunities for everyone to celebrate the freedom that came with the Muhban War. Everyone is advised to celebrate with friends or guardians, and be careful to stay safe in the streets tonight.
Javen didn’t budge from his chair at all. He stayed still, wondering what his coworkers must be doing with their friends at this moment.
Then, without a warning, a rare notification sound echoed from his phone. The sound of a canary meant someone had texted him. He groaned and slowly rose up from his chair, the leather material creaking as his weight was gone.
His feet brushed against the cold wooden floor as he trailed his way to the door. He picked up his phone and double-tapped the screen to have it shine bright on his face with whatever had been texted to him.
It was his sister, Andra. do you want to come over? Its the holidays so u better not be working rn.
A huff left his nose as he started unlocking the phone to text back. Don’t worry I’m not working. He stopped texting with his thumbs briefly to think, then continued. I’m a bit busy with other things though.
He closed out his phone and stuffed it in his back pocket, then trudged towards the bathroom. He flicked on the lights and made his way to the mirror, resting his arms on the sink counter.
He hadn’t brushed his hair at all today. Or went outside for that matter.
His phone made a sound again. He checked.
what things?
A hot rush of shame burned behind his ears. Things related to work and friends. I can explain it later but I’m busy right now.
Explain it later, his ass. He prayed to God that that would work and shoved his phone in his pocket again before washing his face with cold faucet water. His face was rough from not having any product on it for days.
He avoided looking back at the mirror and went to grab his towel to dry. Pretty soon, he got another text.
alright bro. txt me when ur free another day!!
He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to do that. But he texted back. Alright, take care.
He didn’t know why he did that. He didn’t know why he texted that exact excuse and managed to miss every single hang out he had ever used it for.
It was probably the magic of the creature hanging on his shoulders. Whatever it did to change him, it did well with hiding that from everyone else.
Sometimes he thanked the creature. Sometimes he found himself beating his body onto the wall to try to get it off.
It never did leave though. And today, it was heavier than other days.
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